(Continued from Part X)
In all the years of our adult lives... we had never fought like that. Not like we did that day...
It was weird, having this... Overdue Confrontation, to put it mildly. I said things, ugly things - more to get his attention than to get them off of my chest.
"You are a hypocrite. How do you act so self righteous every day and in church, and then treat your parents... like this? " I spat the words at him, asking him what he sees when he looks at himself in the mirror.
But it didn't faze him, not at all. He stood his ground and - wait a sec...
I lied.
It did faze him... at one point, while I was hollering at him about his outrageous behavior, he cut me off and started, uh, praying for me. Or praying over me.
"In the name of Jesus Christ, I cast this demon from you -"
WTF?! You're kidding, right... an exorcism?
I have to admit, it worked. lol - it shut me up for about a minute. Despite myself, I was stunned, then amused. And when he was done, I started laughing and said, "Sorry bro - but I'm not actually possessed by Satan or an evil spirit. This is what I sound like when I'm pissed off."
Dang. He's really gone off the deep end.
*sigh*
You know, every day, when I get into the car (oh, only about 6 times a day or so), I thank the Lord for a safe trip. It's my way of praying for safety while we're on the road; even the boys say it aloud with me.
But just because I've prayed about it, doesn't mean I'm not going to do everything I possibly can. I also drive defensively and keep my seat belt on.
My brother? He chooses to pray about it... and "leave it in God's hands."
Okay - I get that. I understand it. I even know how to do it, especially when none of it is under my control... like when my mom went into brain surgery... it changed my life. Changed ME.
But if I haven't done everything I possibly can, exhausted every option and opportunity... I can't honestly say that I've given it my best shot. Until then, I won't stop trying.
I guess that's the stop my brother gets off at. He skips the whole, okay, well most of the "trying" part - and just prays. (He was the one who initiated most of the phone calls in the past... gotta give him credit for that.)
I dunno, maybe he's got it right and I've got it wrong - another reason why I'm still on this spirituality journey...
Sometime later, weeks, months... my mom came over for a visit. She was driving herself mad in the house, racked with pain and guilt over her son, wondering how it ever came to this...
The sad thing is... when she's overwhelmed with the love and affection my monsters shower her with, her heart swells with joy over her grandsons... and at the exact same time, in the exact same moment, a piece of it gets torn off... wishing she could have this with her own son.
My mom found, though, that there is another way of dealing with the pain... besides prayer, distraction and emotional meltdowns... Coz anger sure does fuel a fire...
I could hear her talking on the phone to someone in her room... she keeps it on speakerphone all the time, so I could hear the other person's voice as well.
It was familiar, but I couldn't place it. The tone in her voice made me think it was one of her cousins or her friends, going off and venting about something that made them upset or whatnot. I started to walk over to her, to see what the hell was going on, stopped myself - not wanting to eavesdrop or gossip.
But after a little while, my mom came out to the living room, and motioned for me to follow her back to the room. Puzzled, I tried to ask who she was talking to but she was way too engaged in the call to answer me.
Not until I heard the context of what they were talking about, did I realize who was on the other line.
It was her.
YELLING at my mom. Demanding explanations for this. ACCUSING her of that. So high and mighty she thought she was, and she was talking to MY MOM in the worst condescending tone I think I'd ever heard.
It was my lovely sister-in-law.
(To be continued...)
A DIVIDED SPIRIT ~ The Series
-A Divided Spirit is Born
-Part I: The Overdue Confrontation
-Part II: The Ace Up His Sleeves
-Part III: Still Lost
-Part IV: “If You’re Too Nice, They’ll Walk All Over You”
-Part V: To Call, or Not To Call
-Part VI: The First Betrayal
-Part VII: True Colors
-Part VIII: Skipping Christmas
-Part IX: Bargaining Chip
-Part X: Ostracized
