MammaDawg: Stripper 101 Verdict

Psst!

I'm not supposed to be blogging right now, but I had to sneak in a post real quick. I came back to hundreds of emails at work, smack dab in the middle of budget season - and I've got SO much stuff left to do for the conference I'm planning in San Francisco next month. Never mind hubby's costume party week after next!

But I missed you guys - it feels like I've been offline forever! Let me tell you, though... flying in to Vegas by myself, getting a car by myself... I didn't realize how spoiled I am. Hubz always takes the lead with everything when we travel - and when I had to figure out where to go on my own and try to find my way to the hotel on roads I've never driven before...

It made me appreciate him that much more.

Of course, I barely had time to freshen up before heading out to Stripper 101. LOL - I felt like such an idiot. But I started talking to some of the other women there (they're not lying about the age range - there were women all the way from their 20's to 60's!) - and the instructor was friggin' hilarious.

I downed my margarita, posed for my pic at the pole - and then we cleared out the chairs.

Um... there is. NO. Way. I'm gonna get my legs around that thing without falling flat on my ass.

Seriously - no wonder all the strip club girls are in such great shape - that is some SERIOUS workout shit. For real.

So did I get to pole dance, you ask?

Hmnnn... does it count that my ankles got twisted up at the end - EVERY single time I tried?

lol - but it was fun, though. And Hubz was trippin' out on the whole thing. I met a girl there that told me about Bare at the Mirage - I guess it's a topless pool???

If you've been there before - you HAVE to let us know what you thought of it. I think Stripper 101 was enough for me - I didn't have the balls to rip my top off.

Except, of course, at the Spa.

Both of us scheduled appointments for a massage (swedish for him, deep tissue for me). It was so heavenly, I added on an extra half hour just to work my upper back and shoulders. I think I should've reminded myself, that it wasn't MY birthday. It was his.

lol - but he didn't wig out at all - not while he was enjoying the steam room and the jacuzzi. It was so relaxing - perfect to get us ready for that night.

*sigh*

This was our second time seeing Phantom Las Vegas... if you haven't been there yet - you have GOT to check it out. The venue itself is spectacular... coupled with such wonderful actors and music so alluringly beautiful...

I confessed to Hubz the next day that I had fallen in love with him again. You should've seen us at the opera - we were in contact with each other throughout the entire production. I couldn't let go of him! And when Raoul proposed to Christine... I felt my heart soar.

But when Hubz gave me the same confession, I was taken aback. He is SO not an... "expresser" of feelings. And after we professed our love for one another, we had to jump back into talking smack to each other to bring us back to reality.

We're losers. We know. ;)

Another night we went to see the Pit Bull of Comedy, Bobby Slayton.

He is raunchy. Naughty. A horny bastard. But we laughed our asses off. I kept waiting to hear what he was going to say about Asians.

We're bad drivers?

Seriously? That's it?

I turned to Hubz, who calls me Mrs. Andretti. "I actually drive pretty well... I just can't park for shit." FORGET parallel parking. ;)

But - UGH - did I tell you about the asshole behind me at the Venetian?!

Hubz and I were on the escalator - he usually stands behind me but I must've been lagging. Anyhoo - I had reached into my jacket pocket for my phone, when I noticed I had brushed up against someone.

This dickhead was standing SO close to me, when I turned around, you would've thought he was whispering something to me.

Hmph. I can NOT stand guys who get up all in my space.

So after I'd checked my phone, I swung my arm back to put the phone away in my pocket, and...

WhACK!

I'd elbowed Mr. Whisperer in the head. Hard.

lol - I turned around, expressionless, and looked at him straight with unapologetic eyes. "Oh. Sorry."

I don't think he was very pleased with me. :D

Okay - I know I'm rambling - but I had to share that with you. ;) I need to remember that this trip was for Skinny Ass, and that I booked us at the Fantasy show at the Luxor.

I should mention that Hubz and I are actually really open with each other... he tells me if he sees someone worth looking at, and I tell him if I happen to see a cutie pie. Whenever I find someone, he shakes his head and laughs at me and says accusingly, "Whore."

Which just makes me smirk. "And?"

So you'll know why this photo doesn't bother me in the least: