Which reminded me of this post... hope you don't mind the encore - I'd love to hear how you guys handle QT with your significant other:
Skinny Ass is irritated with me. He hates, hates, HATES it when I surf the Internet.
I think he liked it better when I sat next to him on the couch while he surfed through channels on the TV. I was still a little naive back then, and I'd tell myself we could catch up on the day's events during commercials.
Yeah, right. Then I woke the f- up.
Quality time to him is doing the above. To the tee. (I could even be reading a book - just not surfin' the net - or blogging.)
"We're spending time together," he says emphatically.
What?! My idea of QT is actually any kind of conversation OTHER than the following:
* --What the kids did today in school
* --What happened at work today
* --What bills need to be paid
* --What to do with the little league sign up's
* --What to bring for the wrestling tournament
* --What surprise came in the mail today
* --What needs to be cleaned up in the house
And yadifrigginyada.
It's all logistics. Stuff that comes with the territory of managing your family and household. Makes you wonder what the h*ll we talked about BEFORE we got married, huh?
So imagine my surprise when at the dinner table last night, he actually says something more... meaningful....
We were having KFC with all the fixin's. As he's contemplating his cole slaw and mashed potatoes, he looks away from me, head tilted upward in thought and says quietly:
>>Skinny Ass: "KFC has the best side dishes. Makes me think of my mom..."
I almost choked on some fried chicken.
His mom passed in 2006, she had been battling Alzheimer's for many long years... His dad passed in 1998, almost seemingly not wanting to fight the brain tumor without his wife beside him.
A common question in the family for the longest time was: "If you had to choose between dying from Alzheimer's or dying from a brain tumor - which would it be?"
He doesn't talk about them.
>>Me (after a half second pause): "Did you guys eat at KFC a lot?"
>>Skinny Ass: "Nah. But she'd cook up a whole dinner of fried chicken, then run out to KFC for the sides. Kinda like goin' to Carl's Jr. for a baked potato."
And he laughed. So we talked a little more, and inside my heart was silently tearing in two.
It wants to dance, because of the little piece inside of him that made him feel open enough to share with me today. And it wants to cry out, for I know how much he misses them and how he wishes that they could've known his sons.
Quality time for me is getting to know someone. What's inside, what makes them tick. What their idiosyncracies are and what pet peeves do they have. What makes them laugh out loud. What breaks them into tears.
I don't need to have a steak and lobster dinner with a dozen roses for some quality time with my hubby. I love the little stuff. A single flower just because, a soft caress on the arm or a squeeze on my shoulder, a phone call in the middle of the day...
Even a little tidbit inspired from some KFC. :)
It lets me know he's thinking of me. Even if we're always going 100 miles an hour. It separates us from being room mates, and instead... husband and wife.
What about you? How do you manage to find quality time with your SO? And... don't forget: If you had to choose... Alzheimer's or Brain Tumor?
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