A Divided Spirit, Part II
(Continued from Part I)
The following morning, she rises from a sleepless night, and sneaks out of bed before waking her husband. The night before wasn't much more than the typical homework and bedtime routines. The usual standoff's in an attempt to push "lights out" just a little bit later than normal. But after that: Quietness.
She couldn't talk about the phone call with her brother. Not to her mom, not to her husband... She had never spoken so directly to her brother like that, not in their adult lives. Always holding back, not wanting to tell him what to do or what he should do... not wanting to influence his decisions.
And not wanting to push him away.
But He must've heard her prayer, for she found the resolve to speak her mind. Her heart. And her fears.
One Christmas, she gave him the movie "Men of Honor" - because it so reminded her of him. Who he is and what he stands for. Truly, a man in his greatest worth.
But where is this man? He makes an appearance here and there, but his presence isn't as strong anymore. It's as if something has taken over... clouded his thoughts, and his decisions.
She is at the edge of her seat, wanting to physically shake his shoulders if he were near. "Stand up for your family, damn it!"
But he doesn't see it that way. He IS standing up for his family.
His new family.
He's young and newly married. With a baby on the way. He doesn't understand "family values" as a whole. He asked his sister, "What does it say in the Bible?"
"Honor thy father and mother!" she replied.
But he wasn't talking about that. He was referring to the book of Genesis. How man and woman will leave their father's houses to make a life for their own. Doesn't see the point of calling your family regularly, or even to stop by on Christmas. He has his own family to take care of.
But she reminds herself that she was once there, too... She remembers being a young, newly married mother. Busy playing house and focused on her family, not always picking up the phone to call the on-laws.
She remembers.
And she can see it happening now, in front of her. She sees them drifting apart, for reasons more complicated than they need to be, and more.
She tells him this, and he listens. They agree that they've both been holding back, and there's no need to do so. And after several more disagreements, they agree to give it to God, that whatever happens will be His will.
It's the first time they've talked so openly for so long, without the polite salutations.
Afterwards, she reflects for a moment before leaving the seclusion of her bedroom. And she is ever hopeful, that this will help change the way things are. She sees her brother in a slightly new light, and is thankful he took the time to call her back.
Thankful that her son had little league practice that night, so that her husband would actually be home before 8pm. Thankful that she made dinner early that night. Thankful that the Lord is always so faithful....
But my brother deceived me.
He had predicted that everything would change once his daughter arrived. I laughed at his naivete, telling him that a baby wouldn't make problems go away if he didn't want to address them now.
But he corrected me. "I never said that. I said that things will change. Meaning, they will either get better, or worse. But they will not remain the same."
He didn't want to talk about the issue, didn't want to discuss it. He refused to speak with either of us (his mom or his sister) if his wife were present.
He said he wanted to give it to the Lord. He wasn't going to waste any more time on it or put his family through it. "Let the Lord deal with it," he declared.
Except... he didn't let on that he had planned to exclude us from her arrival. Didn't let on that he had no intention of announcing his daughter's birth to his own parents. Telling them, through me, that they were not welcome in his home, and that if they wanted to meet their granddaughter...
"They're welcome to visit us at the church."
Never would I have imagined how he could turn on us.
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