Well maybe not with work. I'm actually on it this week.
And not with household chores, either. This is the CLEANEST this house has been, consistently, in a long time.
In fact, this week has flown by with the same day-to-day shit that seems to be taken for granted endlessly. And this week is definitely not the exception.
It doesn't matter that I've had the house cleaned AND organized by the time Hubz gets home. Kids taken care of, fed and bathed. Laundry folded and put away. Checkbook balanced and all bills paid on time. Completed all my hours for work before dinner time. Even staying on top of my goal of exercising at least 3X a week.
Never mind that the 3-year old will cry to demonstrate his frustration. Or wants. Or that I refuse to give him what he's asking for if he's crying. Or whining. Same with the 7-year old.
Whine and tears will get you nowhere in this house. At least, not with me. And if you're anywhere near me in Target or Costco, you probably have overheard me saying, "I'm sorry, but I can't do anything for you while you're crying."
That usually turns off the waterworks, as long as they take a breath so they can actually hear me. Sometimes I have to repeat myself several times before they hear me. And then come the hugs.
Do you know that we have a position posted in our department? For the same type of position I'm currently in right now?
Decent pay. Flexible part-time hours. Ability to work in the office or from home.
But our top candidates have turned it down - why?
"Oh, if I only work 20 hours a week, I won't be able to afford childcare anymore."
Well, THAT rose a chuckle out of me. In fact, I laughed out loud during our conference call. Most of the women in our industry will turn down the opportunity to work from home, because it's just not possible to get our jobs done while minding our children under the same roof.
Even if they WERE working from home, they'd need to hire someone to watch the kids so they could get their jobs done.
Wouldn't that be bliss???
But I laugh, because that is exactly what I face, every day. I wake up in the morning with corporate email, and go to bed with corporate email. I try to suppress the noise factor in my house when on the phone, and when I'm talking with the Marketing and eCommerce Manager planning a pop-up meeting for next week - it doesn't help when I have two monsters bumrush me in the office while playing hide and seek under my desk.
Oh - everything works out alright. I've never gotten in trouble or anything, even when my littlest one peed on the floor while I was on the phone with my bosses. (Yes - true story!) And when it's finally become unavoidable, I can usually crack a joke about it and we just get a good laugh out of it.
But afterwards... when I hang up the phone?
I'm so mad I am seriously seeing scarlet, red and orange. Try dealing with that, day in and day out.
Along with having a husband CONSTANTLY reminding you that you're overweight. Hell, he doesn't even have to say anything sometimes. I can SEE it in his eyes, in his face... in the way he looks at me when he thinks I'm not looking and when he knows I am.
Or when he comes home to a clean house, only to look for something out of order so he can bitch about that. Like when Daredevil set up a desk next to mine so he can work on his math while Bandit was taking a nap.
He brought in his workbook and a flowerpot he made for me to hold his pencils, then trotted over with his trophies to display.
"There. Now it's like Dad's desk!"
And since this is routine, I didn't bother to make him put it away. I actually thought it was kinda cute.
But at 10pm last night, just when I thought Skinny Ass had finally gotten it all out of his system, I hear him muttering under his breath in the kitchen.
"Fucken can't even tell the kids to pick up after themselves..." and yadiyadiya.
So, let me see now. He's insulting me as a mother, that I'm not doing my job well in teaching my children how to pick up. He's insulting the kids, when he doesn't realize how everybody pitches in around here to get the house tidied up at the end of the day.
And by "at the end of the day," I mean after dinner has been cleaned up. Because we ALL know that it's not the end of the day for Mothers. No, not when you haven't had any ME time yet, but you still have baths to give, teeth to brush, and kids to get ready for bed. You haven't had time to blog all day - all week! - but you're NOT going to give him a reason to bitch anymore.
Well, this week - I decided to conduct a little experiment.
I told myself I would stay on top of everything all week, and see how that would affect - well, everyone. I'd have home-cooked meals and the house cleaned before he got home from work.
I'd eat healthy and exercise, and spend good quality time with the boys. Get my work finished before it was time to start dinner - and the kids to swimming lessons on time each day. And definitely make sure I don't spend time on the computer after he got home. (*sigh* - but I sure do miss my bloggy friends...)
And you know what? I did it. All of it. I usually do it anyway, just a little on the lax side. Like, I don't care if the house isn't perfect, or if my mail is piled up on the kitchen counter.
But this week? I was friggin' Wonder Woman.
'Cept he doesn't care. He still finds something to bitch about. And after he's bitched about whatever he found, he thinks he can start talking to me like everything's okay. Like everything's normal. As if putting me down as a wife and mother, putting the kids down, isn't going to have this, uh, negative affect on me.
No, sir. There are consequences. You can bitch all you like, and maybe I have to put up with it because I married your Skinny Ass, but it doesn't mean that everything's gonna be hunky dory whenever YOU feel like it.
I KNOW you're tired. I KNOW you don't mean half the things you say. But I'm your opposite, remember? I don't say something UNLESS I mean it.
And when you complain that you've worked 120+ hours the last 2 weeks, I ask you in turn, if you know how many hours I'VE worked the last 2 weeks, I'm flabbergasted to hear you say:
"NO. I mean working at a REAL job."
Oh. My bad. I thought I actually DID have a real job. A couple of them, actually. One that comes with a paycheck after working 20 hours a week, and another with endless hours - day in and day out - that has its own rewards.
I'm a Work-At-Home-Mom, taking care of my job, my boys and the house. And even if you can't appreciate it, even if I'm not perfect, I know I'm doing a damn good job. I don't need you to tell me so - Lord knows, you haven't yet in the 10 years we've been together. But I don't need you telling me I'm doing a shitty job either.
I don't ever pretend to know what it would take to do what you do every day, or having to burden the pressures of having to make sure you can provide for your family.
But you're not here every day. You can't even handle shopping with the kids. And when my mom had brain surgery and you took vacation for 2 weeks to watch the kids, you couldn't even handle THAT. There were just 2 then, and you were on VACATION! You weren't even working!!
I'm working AND handling the kids. All 3 of them. You come home to a decent house in order and a damn decent sex life. I don't know ANY OTHER couples out there that can compete. Trust me. I've asked.
I don't pretend that I can do your job, much less better. So please don't pretend like you can do mine better.
Please.
Technorati Tags: Marriage, Relationships, WAHM, Life_Balance, Complaints
0 comments:
Post a Comment